


Clean

by gundamoocow



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Enemas, Hand Jobs, Kylo Is a Little Shit, M/M, Masturbation, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 11:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gundamoocow/pseuds/gundamoocow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo doesn’t intend to spy on Hux’s personal life.</p>
<p>His orders are to ensure loyalty, and it just so happens that the best time to look for treasonous thoughts is when the target’s guard is down. It’s less obtrusive this way, less overt than a direct interrogation; General Hux would notice Kylo Ren bearing down on him on the bridge, but he is completely unaware of the thoughts he radiates while Kylo brushes his hand along the door of his quarters as he walks past during Hux’s end-of-shift routine.</p>
<p>Tonight, Hux’s mind is not on military strategy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clean

**Author's Note:**

> Before you continue, please read the tags! The feature of this fic is enema kink. There is no scat here, so you can read on without worrying about that.

Kylo doesn’t intend to spy on Hux’s personal life.

His orders are to ensure loyalty, and it just so happens that the best time to look for treasonous thoughts is when the target’s guard is down. It’s less obtrusive this way, less overt than a direct interrogation; General Hux would notice Kylo Ren bearing down on him on the bridge, but he is completely unaware of the thoughts he radiates while Kylo brushes his hand along the door of his quarters as he walks past during Hux’s end-of-shift routine.

Tonight, Hux’s mind is not on military strategy.

He is doing something he enjoys, an activity that Kylo can’t work his head around.

Kylo keeps walking. It would be unwise to be seen lingering at Hux’s door.

The next night, Kylo walks past Hux’s door again on what has become his regular patrol. He monitors Hux, who is sitting in bed, reading through reports. Kylo moves on.

The following two nights are the same, but on the third, Hux is again doing something different. He is _radiating_ pleasure. It has something to do with water, and Kylo dimly thinks of a bath before remembering that no such facilities exist on the _Finalizer_. He keeps walking.

The next day, on the bridge, Hux’s mood seems lighter than normal.

The pattern continues. Every fourth cycle, Hux’s free time is occupied by a mysterious activity. So far, Kylo knows it has to do with water and cleanliness and _warmth_ , but it can’t possibly be a bath. He knows it’s relaxing. He is aware of a sense of filling, but it definitely has nothing to do with warm drinks. He can tell that Hux looks forward to it as the end of his shift nears, and that the next day, he is much more agreeable.

Kylo’s need to figure out what Hux is doing grows, and he finds himself lingering outside of Hux’s quarters for longer and longer every fourth cycle. Officers walk past hurriedly. Kylo ignores them.

Rubber, penetration, filling, water, warmth, emptying, cleanliness, satisfaction, _arousal_ , relaxation, rest.

Kylo barely manages to wait until Hux leaves his quarters the next cycle before he bypasses the General’s security and enters his rooms. He looks around at the space, a mirror image of his own quarters. He isn’t sure what exactly he’s looking for, but the refresher seems like a good place to start. Unlike Kylo’s refresher, where toiletries are scattered left and right, everything here is labelled and categorised in excruciating detail.

When Kylo sees it, he recognises it immediately -- a small, non-descript basket tucked inside the cabinet. The label on it says “cleansing kit”.

He pulls it out carefully, wanting to leave no trace of his presence here. The basket contains a clear rubbery bag with a hook. There is a length of rubber tubing with a valve at one end and a box filled with what Kylo assumes are different nozzle attachments. He opens the box of nozzles and inspects the contents. There are several of different shapes and sizes. Some soft, some harder. One appears to be inflatable. What in the galaxy would someone need an inflatable nozzle for? It has a simple hand pump. Kylo picks it up, squeezing the pump a few times until the nozzle inflates enough for him to discern its final shape.

The pump rolls out of Kylo’s hand as he recognises the nozzle’s shape.

It was a mistake to pry so deeply. Kylo deflates the nozzle and carefully puts everything back exactly how he found it, and leaves Hux’s quarters as fast as he can. He vows to stop spying on Hux. The man is beyond a doubt loyal to the First Order, and Kylo’s time could be better spent elsewhere.

The next time Hux is due for a _cleansing_ , Kylo promptly breaks his vow.

As soon as Hux retires to his quarters for the night, Kylo is at his door. The glimpses all make sense now; Kylo understands the routine. However, he still doesn’t understand _why_. It’s not normal. Kylo knows -- he spies on enough people to know, but Hux _loves_ this. He oozes anticipation for hours while he’s on the bridge until the end of his shift, has a small, quick dinner, then immediately locks himself in his refresher. The process takes him about an hour. Afterwards, he showers and then masturbates in bed, his mind travelling to the _cleansing_ and then to other things, mostly faceless male bodies. Kylo isn’t sure if they are memories or pure fantasy. Then Hux sleeps.

Kylo finds himself slumped against Hux’s door when Hux finishes, and he is hard in his pants. He hopes no one saw him.

The next day, Hux has a lightness in both his step and his demeanor.

Kylo counts down the cycles until Hux’s next cleansing is due. This time, it doesn’t happen. They have an unexpected Resistance encounter, and Hux remains on the bridge well into his night cycle, only retiring when the situation is resolved. Despite their victory, Hux is in a terrible mood the following day, and remains so for the next three cycles until it’s time for his unusual activity again. After that, Hux is once again calm, and not even Kylo’s antagonism is able to lower his spirits.

Curious.

Kylo waits three cycles to make his move.

“General Hux,” he says when he has Hux out of earshot from everyone else on the bridge. “I want to offer you an apology.”

A lie.

Hux furrows his brow. He is obviously incredulous. “May I ask what for?”

“I’ve been unfairly hostile towards you,” Kylo says. He is immensely thankful for the mask and voice modulator that hide his grin. “Allow me to treat you to dinner tonight. We’re in the vicinity of Ealor.”

Hux stares at him, dumbfounded. Ealor is known for excellent steaks, something not available on the _Finalizer_. Hux knows it. Kylo watches Hux churn the offer over in his mind. He doesn’t trust Kylo, but he would never say no to proper, non-military rationed food, despite his claims that their nutritional value is perfectly adequate. Not unless he has more pressing matters to attend to. He licks his lips, slowly. Unconsciously.

“I’m afraid I have other plans,” he says finally.

“How unfortunate,” Kylo says, smirking beneath his mask. “Another time?”

Hux nods. “Yes,” he says hesitantly.

That’s all Kylo needs to know.

Four cycles later, he makes a new offer. This time, it’s a rare fish, reputed to be delicious above all others, but poisonous if not prepared exactly right. Hux declines once again, and Kylo expresses false disappointment.

Kylo begins to make more extravagant suggestions -- famous chocolate desserts, dinner theater at a critically-acclaimed Republic lampoon show, an (entirely fabricated) underwater restaurant staffed by half-humans half-fish -- but Hux rejects every one of them. He never dismisses them off-hand. Kylo can see his _longing_. Whenever Hux suggests an alternative date, Kylo says he has to train under Snoke’s orders.

Another lie. Hux accepts it without question.

Finally, feigning exasperation, Kylo asks Hux what exactly it is he does in his spare time that keeps him so busy. Hux’s lips stiffen and his pulse quickens. Kylo steps close in to Hux, their bodies almost touching. He leans in, whispering into Hux’s ear, “Are you seeing someone, General?”

Hux’s cheeks immediately flush pink. “No, nothing like that,” the words rush from his mouth. He departs the bridge immediately.

That evening, as Kylo sits on the floor in the corridor with his back to Hux’s door, Hux breaks tradition and thinks of Kylo as he brings himself off while still full of water held in place by the inflated nozzle. Afterwards, he is ridden with shame, and the next day, he isn’t as calm as he normally is after his little sessions.

Seducing Hux is not Kylo’s plan, but now that it’s happening, he decides to use it to his advantage.

“So what is it that keeps you so busy during your recreational hours?” Kylo asks when Hux rejects yet another outing. “Is the idea of my company that repulsive to you?”

Hux’s breath audibly catches in his throat. Kylo has him cornered now. His laborious effort to play nice is finally paying off.

“No, it’s not that. I--” Hux trails off, his face falling before a look of determination takes over. “It’s-- I have a health routine.”

Suppressing outright laughter takes much of Kylo’s effort. “A health routine?”

“Yes,” he says, as if trying to convince _himself_ rather than Kylo.

“What kind of health routine?” Kylo presses.

The General’s eyes briefly widen in something akin to horror before he schools his expression to a neutral one. “It’s for--” he trails off again before finding the words. “Digestion. And hygiene.”

Kylo nods once. Kylo knows it isn’t normal, and he’s fairly sure that Hux knows that too. The denial in the man is strong, and Kylo’s urge to break him down is even stronger.

“I’ve had trouble myself, lately,” Kylo says, making a show of rubbing his hand over his abdomen. “I’ve considered seeing a medic, but I don’t want to waste the First Order’s resources on such a minor ailment.”

Kylo Ren caring about wasting the First Order’s resources on such an insignificant level is beyond preposterous, especially considering his propensity for therapeutic console destruction, and if Hux had his wits about him, he would catch on instantly. However, Hux doesn’t have his wits about him. His mind is desperately clutching at straws in an attempt to explain himself in a way that doesn’t make him out to be a deviant. As far as Hux is concerned, he isn’t a deviant, and his cleansing routine is perfectly innocent. The masturbation that goes hand in hand with Hux’s routine is simply a result of enjoying the refreshed feeling afterwards. He is absolutely convinced of this. Kylo can see that clear as can be.

“What’s your secret?” Kylo asks casually.

Hux is about to launch into a tirade of denial about keeping secrets, but then stops himself when he realises what Kylo means.

“It’s--” he falters, then steels himself. Kylo can practically hear Hux shouting at himself that there’s nothing wrong or unusual with his little habit, and it’s therefore perfectly acceptable to discuss publicly. “Colon cleansing,” he says finally.

“Oh,” Kylo says, proud of himself for keeping his composure. “Is there a pill for that?”

“It’s-- It’s not-- That’s not how--” Hux stammers, tripping over his words.

“No pills?” Kylo muses aloud. “Is it a herbal supplement? A tea?”

“No, it’s--”

“Oh, I forgot. It takes all evening,” Kylo says. His tone is overtly teasing now, but Hux doesn’t notice.

“It’s-- You have to--”

Hux doesn’t want to say it, and it’s _beautiful_. Kylo moves in for the kill.

“Is it complicated? Can you show me instead?”

As if time stops, Hux freezes. Beads of sweat form on his forehead.

He grits his teeth and quietly snarls, “It’s a colon cleanse, Ren. You administer a quantity of water via the rectum, hold it for a time, and then expel. It’s re-hydrating and removes toxins,” he says with a defensive undertone.

Kylo’s grin is wide beneath his mask. He’s almost giddy with excitement when he asks, putting on an air of shock, “The rectum?” Then he whispers, though the voice modulator amplifies his voice enough that anyone listening carefully would be able to understand. “You mean in your _butt_?”

The colour drains from Hux’s face, and Kylo thinks the flustered man is about to pass out. He manages to regain control enough to say, “To put it crudely, yes.”

“Isn’t that,” Kylo pauses for dramatic effect, “sexual?”

Hux scowls and glares at Kylo for daring to point out what is obviously the elephant in the room. “Of course not, Ren! It’s an old natural remedy.”

Kylo pretends to consider Hux’s words and then makes the suggestion that he had planned all along. “Well, if you’re _sure_ it’s nothing sexual, then I’m willing to try.”

Hux looks like he’s about to speak, but Kylo continues talking on top of him. “I’ll get a medical droid--”

“ _No_ ,” Hux interjects, somewhat panicked. “The droids aren’t programmed for it. It’s better if I show you.”

The words are out of Hux’s mouth before Hux realises, and Kylo can sense his regret instantly.

“Very well,” Kylo says. “After dinner?”

Hux, shellshocked, nods.

 

***

 

Kylo tries not to think about what he got himself into when he buzzes Hux’s door, telling himself he can handle a little discomfort in exchange for calling Hux out on his perversions.

Hux opens the door.

He is wearing simple dark gray house robe that goes down to his calves. By the looks of it, he isn’t wearing anything underneath. Kylo’s eyes briefly linger on Hux’s bare feet.

“Ren,” he mumbles, barely meeting Kylo’s eye.

“General,” Kylo responds cordially and steps inside.

“Will you--” Hux starts as Kylo takes off his mask, pre-empting Hux’s request. “Nevermind.”

“So how does this work?” Kylo asks.

Hux seems surprised that Kylo intends to get straight into it, but complies.

“This way,” Hux says, leading Kylo towards the refresher.

A towel is laid out on the floor, and the basket of supplies is sitting next to the sink.

Hux explains the entire procedure in clinical detail. His expression is completely devoid of emotion, and Kylo wonders if he rehearsed this entire spiel before Kylo arrived.

“I’ll be here to help you,” Hux finishes.

Kylo isn’t sure what he expected. He presumed he would see Hux doing it to himself first, but clearly that’s not what Hux has in mind. Nevermind.

“You’ll want to remove some of that clothing,” Hux cautions after looking Kylo up and down. “I’ll wait outside. Call me when you’re ready.”

Kylo takes it all off. He kicks his boots off to the side, and hangs up everything else haphazardly on the two wall hooks. His tunic slips off one of the hooks and crumples to the floor. Kylo kicks it into the corner where his boots rest.

“Ready,” he calls out.

“There are spare towels in the cabinet,” Hux says as he walks through the door. “You can cover yourself with one if you--”

Hux’s jaw drops. He licks his lips, slowly, as his widening eyes travel from Kylo’s broad chest and down to his groin, then his thighs, calves, feet, and then back up.

“--want,” he finishes, the volume of his voice fizzling out to almost a squeak.

“I’m fine,” Kylo says, and he doesn’t know whether Hux’s reply of _Yes, you are_ , is spoken out loud or in Hux’s head. Either way, it boosts Kylo’s confidence.

Hux shakes himself out of his trance. “Let’s begin, then,” he says. “Bend over the sink.”

Kylo does, making sure to poke his butt out slightly more than necessary as Hux snaps on a pair of latex gloves. He watches Hux in the mirror as he squeezes some lubricant onto his finger. A moment later, Kylo feels the cool lube slipping between his cheeks as the finger approaches his entrance. Hux’s touch is surprisingly delicate. He gently swirls his finger, spreading the lube around, and then prods inside.

It feels surprisingly good. Kylo doesn’t hold back a grunt as Hux pushes past his sphincter.

“Does that hurt?” Hux asks, making eye contact with Kylo through the mirror.

Kylo shakes his head.

“Good,” Hux says, withdrawing the invading digit. He reaches into his basket and withdraws the inflatable nozzle that Kylo saw earlier. “Since it’s your first time, I would recommend this one to help with retention.”

This time, Kylo is the one licking his lips. He watches Hux spread lubricant on it before he feels the tip at his entrance. Hux slides it in, slowly, and Kylo groans a little. It feels good, having someone do this to him. Now that he’s a little more relaxed about it, his cock begins to stir. _Good_ , he thinks.

Hux pumps the inflation bulb once. Kylo feels it move immediately and makes a surprised sound. Several pumps later, Kylo really feels the stretch.

“Hux,” Kylo breathes. He bites his tongue to force himself to keep a straight face before saying, “I thought you said this wasn’t sexual, but I feel-- It feels _good_ , Hux.”

The stutter is affected, but what he says is true; it _does_ feel good, and Kylo can already see why Hux is so into it.

“There are a lot of sensitive nerve endings there, Ren,” Hux explains. He’s trying to remain detached, but the slight rasp in his voice gives Hux away. “It’s only natural that you feel something.”

When Hux seems satisfied with the level of inflation, he removes his gloves and connects the length of tubing to the nozzle.

Kylo doesn’t need to make a noise when Hux does this, but he does anyway.

“You should lie down now,” Hux says.

Hux holds on to the end of the tube as Kylo positions himself on the towel. He lies on his back with his knees bent, letting his now rather hard cock flop onto his belly. Kylo suppresses a smirk when he realises that Hux can’t keep his eyes off of it.

“Hux?” Kylo prompts.

Hux shakes his head as if physically trying to clear it. He then grabs the large rubber bag, adds a sachet of something to it, and begins to fill it after testing the water temperature with his hand. When it looks like it’s ready to burst, Hux turns the water off and hooks the bag onto a small hook that Kylo previously overlooked. There is a considerable amount of water in the bag, and Kylo wonders whether all of it will really fit inside him. Hux attaches the other end of the tube.

“Right,” Hux says. “Try to stay relaxed, and tell me if it starts to cramp.”

Kylo nods. He’s ready for this, though his heart beats in his chest slightly harder than normal.

Hux releases the valve, and warm water suddenly floods into Kylo. It’s a fraction warmer than his body and feels a lot better than he expects. The light stretch of the nozzle, the warmth of the water, the pressure on his prostate, the _flow_ he can feel deep inside -- the sensations combined are like nothing he’s ever felt before. He gasps, and this time there is no act behind it. There’s no playing up how hard he is. He can’t help it; he reaches down and runs his thumb across the tip of his cock, smearing the leaking fluid across the head.

“ _Hux_ ,” he moans, looking up at the General. Hux’s gaze is fixated on Kylo. His jaw is hanging loosely open again and his hand seems frozen on the valve. “Is it _normal_ ,” he pants lightly, “to get so hard during this?”

Hux looks as if his brain has short-circuited. He seems unable to do anything but stare at Kylo with a broken, desperate look. His mouth still hangs open.

“I need-- I need--” He glances at Hux one final time before taking himself in hand, stroking slowly, gently. “Is it okay?” Kylo asks, carefully studying Hux’s reaction. “Is it safe for me to do this?”

Hux utters an almost imperceptible whimper before he finally manages to answer properly. “Yes,” he says, barely above a whisper. “It’s fine.”

“Does it happen to you?” Kylo asks, closing his eyes as he strokes himself. The water is still steadily filling him. He wonders if he’ll be able to see his belly distend.

Hux chokes on his reply. “Occasionally,” he finally manages after a long pause.

“Do you ever get off like this?” Kylo asks. He’s settling into a slow, but solid pace now, squeezing himself slightly harder each time his hand reaches his cockhead. He knows the answer, but will Hux admit it?

“Occasionally,” Hux whispers hoarsely.

Kylo opens one eye a crack and inspects Hux. He still hasn’t moved, but there is an obvious bulge under his robe.

“You lied then,” Kylo casually accuses, closing his eye again. “You have a fetish for this.”

He hears Hux straighten himself out. “You’re wrong, Ren,” he defends himself with weak vitriol. “The primary purpose is for health and hygiene, not an elaborate masturbation routine.”

“But it is a masturbation routine, isn’t it?” Kylo asks, looking up at Hux again. “You do this, and you get yourself off. During or after.”

Hux opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out.

Kylo chuckles. “You can’t hide it from me,” he says, a small smile curling at the edge of his lip. “I know. I’ve seen your mind.”

Hux looks horrified, then conflicted. He tries to decide how exactly to defend himself from here, but gives up and seals his lips instead. After a short pause, he changes the subject entirely and asks Kylo how it’s feeling.

Kylo is feeling more full now, and he tells Hux so.

“We’ll keep going, then,” Hux says.

They stay silent for a while. Kylo continues stroking himself, enough to bring him some relief, but not enough to bring himself to orgasm. Not yet. He wants to savour this, this _fullness_. His other hand wanders across his abdomen. He starts to notice the expansion as the pressure inside builds.

Eventually, Hux speaks again. “That’s it,” he says. “You’ve taken it all.”

Kylo looks down his body. It’s almost as if he’s inflated. Hux seals off the tube and then kneels beside Kylo.

“How long should I wait?” Kylo asks.

“Fifteen minutes should be sufficient,” Hux says softly.

Kylo looks into Hux’s eyes. He hasn’t stopped masturbating.

“There’s something I can do to help things along,” Hux says carefully. His words are measured, Kylo notices. He is desperately trying to mask his want.

“Okay,” Kylo says, clenching against the nozzle to remind himself that it’s there.

“You’ll need to--”

Hux can’t seem to bring himself to complete the sentence. Instead, he reaches over and gently pries Kylo’s hand away from his dick. Kylo realises he is breathing a little heavily. Hux’s breathing is elevated too, although Hux isn’t touching himself.

Kylo thinks Hux is going to finish him off, but instead, Hux gently places his hands on Kylo’s distended belly. His hands are warm, like the water inside is warm. Slowly, Hux begins to rub small circles, first gently and then with increasing pressure. Kylo can feel things moving around inside.

“It loosens things up,” Hux explains. His voice is still unusually gentle. Kylo expected Hux to be harsh with a sexual partner, given how regimented he keeps his life, but instead he finds an unanticipated sensuality about him. He’s patient and gentle. Even though Kylo raises his ire on a regular basis, he senses no desire for revenge on Kylo while he’s in this vulnerable state.

“Maybe you can help something else along,” Kylo slyly suggests, gesturing at his leaking cock.

Hux doesn’t even hesitate. He runs his fingers along the length and then takes hold of Kylo’s cock, his other hand continuing to gently massage Kylo’s belly. His hands don’t stay put. They travel everywhere on his torso, tracing the bulge of his belly, running down to his balls, his perineum, even briefly his thighs.

“ _Hux_ ,” Kylo moans. “I’m so fucking close. Go on. Finish me off,” he encourages.

Hux sits up on his knees enough to reach the tube of lubricant. He squeezes some onto his hand, and then rubs it up and down along Kylo’s shaft. He uses each hand interchangeably, one long stroke along Kylo’s entire length at a time, making slick, squelching sounds as he goes. This is far more technique than Kylo ever bothers with, and it’s unbelievably good. Hux increases his pace, one long, slippery stroke from base to tip with alternating hands, squeezing his fist a little tighter around Kylo’s cockhead each time.

Kylo swears, throwing his head back. He wants to thrust into Hux’s fists, but doesn’t dare with all this fluid in him. He’s at Hux’s mercy, and oh is Hux merciful. The exquisite pressure from within combined with Hux’s talented hands rip the orgasm from him. He squirts high into the air, with come landing on his chest and neck, even his chin. He finds himself panting hard even after Hux stops stroking him.

Realising his eyes are closed, Kylo opens them. Hux’s face is completely flushed. His eyes are blown wide, and his mouth is _still_ hanging open. He’s also panting, almost breathless.

“I--” Hux starts. He’s almost panicked. “I’ll be right back!”

Hux quickly stands and leaves the refresher. He doesn’t go far.

Kylo can _hear_ him, just outside the door, tugging at himself madly. He is only quiet about it for around half a minute before letting out a series of strained moans and grunts in time with his strokes. He gets louder and louder, his cries getting more and more disjointed until he lets out a final exclamation.

“Fuck!” Hux cries out hoarsely. “Ah! Ah!”

The second “Ah” feeds into a whimper, followed by loud panting.

To Kylo’s amusement, Hux doesn’t say anything about it when he comes back to the refresher. Instead, he gets right down to business.

“I’m going to deflate the nozzle and remove it,” Hux says. “You’ll have to do your best to hold everything in.”

Kylo nods. He doesn’t particularly look forward to what comes next. Hux removes the nozzle easily.

“I’ll leave you to expel,” Hux says. “It will take a while. Even when you think you’re done, you’re not done. Use the shower after.”

“Alright,” Kylo says.

“And stand up slowly. Sudden movements can cause cramping.”

Then Hux leaves.

This part, Kylo decides after a very long time on the toilet, is not particularly enticing. However, it’s a price he is willing to pay.

Clean, showered, and dressed, Kylo feels surprisingly light and refreshed. He opens the refresher door to find Hux waiting for him, leaning against the wall. Uncertainty radiates from him.

“Well, General, that was certainly an interesting experience.”

Hux makes an affirmative sound and nods.

“Same thing again in four cycles?” Kylo asks.

Hux’s eyes light up, though the rest of his expression remains stoic. “I’ll acquire a second kit,” he says.

“Sounds good,” Kylo says before he puts his mask on.

As he walks back to his quarters, Kylo compares his experience with Hux to his previous sexual encounters. This is different, somehow, from them. More satisfying. Normally, he feels dirty after sex, in more ways than just physical. Used, perhaps?

This time, there’s something else. He feels--

_Clean_.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the people who firmly believe that regular enemas with various substances to help remove nameless toxins from their digestive system will improve health. Having visited a number of "health" websites that promote the practice and come across a number of instances where the proprietors are selling butt plugs and advising that it can be useful to have a "friend" help you out, I'm convinced that this is nothing more than a thinly-veiled fetish.
> 
> Come chat to me about dirty things on [tumblr](https://agent-nemesis.tumblr.com/).


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